Mama’s Happy!

The morning started off like your typical morning, trying to get kids to school on time after school holidays…………….running late!!

My little blonde haired, blue eyed cherub (DS2), first day of school decides……today is the day he’s not getting out of bed at the normal crack of dawn.  Nooooo sireeeee.  I could hear him thinking, she’s going to have to work for this one!  I’m going to make her pull her hair out by staying in bed till 8am because it’s my first day of school and she won’t yell at me coz if I get upset, the day is a hell of a lot more likely to be realllllly baaaadd!!  I don’t care if we have to leave the house in 25 minutes, it’s my first day and we’re moving at my pace!!

DS1 is nearly ready even though he’s unwell, coughing and spluttering (only going to school because it’s his little brothers first day – does that make me a bad mum?).  Then I get the muuuuuuuum call.  “There’s a spider in my room!”  Great.  Now I’ve got to spend time trying to ‘find’ (normally no bigger than a bee’s dick) said spider before he’ll leave his room!!  It wasn’t hard.  Right above the door, size of your palm, angry!  I hate spiders…..with a passion……until the end of time.  Hubby away.  Crap!  Only thing to use is outdoor surface spray.  Persuade child through doorway with chocolate (thank god they’re like me!) and turn.that.sucker.white!

Finally leave home (at 8:45am – 10 minutes till 1st bell – 15 minute drive to school – not happy Jan!) and the sky opens up.  Neither child copes with rain (it hurts their heads – don’t know how they stand the shower but not my sensory issue so who am I to quibble!) which means the ‘packhorse’ will be left to carry school bags and 2 boxes (yes, boxes) of books at the other end 😦

Thunder and lightening hits as we enter school.  Not a problem for us…..BUT…….the four legged child at home will force her way through (yes through) the fence and be God knows where by the time I get back.  I know I digress, but feel I need to explain…….Our St Bernard is shit scared of thunder storms, fireworks, blasting from the quarry and basically anything else that goes bang.  If we are home she comes inside so she’s not in it, because she will do anything to get out – and.I.mean.anything!  She moves huge volcanic rocks like they’re pebbles, has forced her way through Rio wire, will dig a well to go under the fence and even used her teeth to break the normal wire last time.  Her last breakout just before Christmas cost us $365 (first time eva in the pound, caught kennel cough, and the council fine has just arrived)!!  Suffice it to say, I was not exactly happy about the prospect of driving the streets to look for her – again!

Where was I??  Oh yeah.  Get the boys into school and finally breathe!!  Three hours sleep.  Didn’t lose my cool.  Everyone alive (till I find the dog) and they seem okay.

Pick-up for my little baby was at 1pm and his smile was priceless.  It was one of those, I’ve been good and I know you’re going to be happy with me kinda smiles.

Pick-up for my big baby was 3:25pm and his smile made my heart soar.  Didn’t get to speak to his teacher this morning, or find out who his aide is for the year, but he had a great day with no problems.  So basically…………

………….it’s a THUMBS UP all round 🙂

PS I found the dog – hubby wants to sell her to highest asian bidder……

 

My Baby’s Starting School….

……….and I’m shit scared 😦

As you probably all know by now both my sons have Aspergers Syndrome (or aspie as we like to use in my house – sometimes even faspie (under my breath, honest) if they’re being particularly annoying!).  My oldest has had a totally brilliant first two years at school, excelling in all the areas we thought he would.  His ‘stressful’ times generally revolve around communication and social situations which is fairly normal for these kids.  My youngest on the other hand is a completely different story!!

We are expecting all sorts of problems there – inside the classroom AND in the playground.  People so often say “really? Both of them? But they are sooo different!”  Well durrrrr – they’re not the same person are they!!!  Even twins have differences!!

His list of ‘stressful’ times is a hell of a lot longer than his brothers, and he has the added bonus of a severe language disorder, along with bowel issues which all fuel the behaviour problems!!  The short of it is – they.are.not.going.to.know.what.hit.them!  Two hours of orientation last year was going really well until the last 10 minutes when a kid brushed past him to sit on the mat (soft pressure on his body hurts him) which ended with my little darlin kicking this kid in the head!  Would you want your child playing with mine??

His aide seems nice BUT old school.  I would love to have been able to have one of the young male aides BUT my baby needs really firm hugs to help him calm down and it’s not fair to put that expectation on a male when they have to be sooo careful with those sorts of things these days.  He won’t do number 2’s anywhere but home (quite a few of these kids are like that) which means his behaviour (kicking, screaming, hitting, punching etc with no preference for his target) will escalate throughout the day……………

So basically I’m playing a waiting game.  Waiting to see how things go.  Waiting to see if they’ll be able to cope with him.  Waiting to see if I can go to work once I’m qualified or will I need to spend time at the school.  Waiting, waiting, waiting……..

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest – I feel a teensy weensy bit better now 🙂

 

The English Language

I’m going to start by saying I know it’s a terrible language to grasp what with all the different spellings for the same word………..there, their, they’re, I know, it’s hard *sigh*

BUT

Use a damn dictionary!!!

If you are not sure, look it up!  They even show you how to pronounce a word properly, which helps people know what the hell you’re talking about!

Use a thesaurus to say the same thing twice without using the same word if you want to!

Get creative………….but not.too.creative…………..unless it’s funny

For example, ‘this one time, at band camp’………..sorry, only kidding 🙂

For example: the word Aspergers.  I have heard this word said in so many different ways.  The word is Aspergers people.  Not Asbergers or Asberjers or Asperjers!?!  It’s Aspergers spelt and As-per-gers pronounced!  Look it up people – you’ll see I’m right 🙂

Now – in saying this, I am not trying to piss people off (unless they choose to take it that way which I am by no means responsible for – because that is not my intention BUT we all have freedom of choice, so you choose which way you want to take it!).  I am merely educating society on this injustice and correcting the problem.  I know so many of us don’t like to ‘label’ people (especially children – even though it gets them the help they need and I’d be the first to throw a party if it gets taken away later), but if we are going to participate in a society that loves putting people in ‘little boxes’ (I can feel a song coming on), we need to pronounce and/or spell those labels correctly!

OK, I’m jumping down off my soapbox now and making room for someone else to have their say……… 🙂

 

My Second Meme

I’ve been tagged for my second Meme by Ree over at Hot Fessional – thanks Ree. Am I meant to get excited by these things? Or does it wear off?!? Anyway, here’s the rules:

1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

So without further ado:

1. I have a small lump at the top of my left ear.  It could very well be a callous from too much time on the phone (it is my preferred ear) but I like to think it’s my testicle from listening to too many dickheads!
2. I bite my nails – real bad *sob*  I have had beautiful nails on and off over the years, but then something happens and biting is one of the first things I turn to without even realising initially.  Maybe I should find someone something else to bite!!  Could get into trouble for that one though…………………
3. I’ve only just realised I have an unusual placement in my family. I am the oldest child alive, which makes me the middle child, unless my mum and dad stopped after me coz they only wanted 2 kids, which would’ve made me the youngest.  I know, I know, I’m strange and slow 🙂
4. Both my parents got re-married two weeks apart and my brother and I went from being 1 of 2 to 1 of 9 between the two families!!
5. I can burp like a bloke! No. Really. I. Can. I won a burping competition against one of hubby’s friends years ago. How’s that for a claim to fame?!?
6. I have a totally sick sense of humour – especially when my family (mum’s side) gets together. Meal times generally end up with major toilet humour discussions.  I never stood a chance did I *sigh*.

And here are my tags.

Kelley at Magneto Bold Too

Tiff at Three Ring Circus

Bettina at Dances To The Beet of Her Own Drum

Riayn at Like Dancing about Architecture

Kin at Kin’s Home of Slightly Cracked Dreams

Sue at Blogging Sueblimely

Have fun 🙂

 

My First Eva Meme……….

Thanks for breaking my Meme virginity Riayn!!!! 🙂

I have been tagged by Riayn to complete the Favourite Five Meme.

This meme’s rules are;

1. Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like.

2. Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances so that you get to know them each a little bit better.

Family:  The Matriarch describes the DNA coursing through my veins that I am constantly fighting – I will not be like her, I will not be like her, I will not be like her…………………..

Friends:  Umm… friends??? 3D or 2D? I haven’t really blogged about my friends yet & I’ve only just met you guys…….. will this do???? Say Hello………..

Yourself:  I guess that could be Hello outside world!

Your Love:  I have been blogging since 27th December 2007 and haven’t really posted anything about my DH but this post will let you know how supportive he is Say goodbye……. 

Anything You Like:   I love the irony or stupidity in normal everyday things so I think this post kinda sums that up You’ve got to be kidding!!! 

Boy that was hard!! Not a lot of material to pick from yet…………Now, who to tag:

Kin

LouCeel

Marlee

Witchypoo

Kelley

 

Picture this…….

41° day, wife preserver (DH’s term for the air-conditioner) working a treat – after cleaning the filters for the first time since installation in 2003! Apparently they need their filters cleaned every 6-12 months to work properly – who would’ve guessed??!! Anyway, as I said – wife preserver working a treat, kids happy, house cool, on the couch watching tellie, power goes out……………yep, you heard me – power goes out. WTF!! Check the fuse box – everything fine there, sweaty palms, deep breath, change the phone over to OMG an old push button phone and call the electricity company. Recording – trees over power lines in our area – expected restoration time 5pm. What! Hysteria sets in. 5pm! It’s. Only. 3:20. How the hell are we going to survive without the wife preserver?!?!?!?! I know, I’ll put the fan on – duurrrrrrrrr – NO ELECTRICITY!!! Everything in our house is electric – water, stove, everything! Shit!!!!

Call DH in hysterics nearly hyperventilating to tell him the situation at home coz he’s god and he can fix this!!!! And you know what he suggests? Go to the pool!!! What’s with that? Go. To. The. Pool. Heeelllllllloooooooooo – major bush city happening downstairs!! Bathers – I don’t think so!! Then he asks what other choice do I have and after frantically running through my options (all my nearby friends are out!!!!) I numbly realise he’s right.

In the bathroom, shower running (no hot water coz there’s no electricity), trying to convince myself I can get in there – I’m strong, I’ve had babies for gods sake!!! OMG – major nipple erectus happening, quick soap up, quick shave (boy am I going to suffer for that one) and out. Dry off, bathers on, nooooooooooooooo! Wouldn’t you know it – didn’t clean up enough!!!! Shit. Shit. Shit. Moisturiser, more shaving (god am I going to suffer for that!). Thoughts of numerous discussions over Brazilians etc enter my mind – oh shut up! Too late now!

Bag packed, boys ready, time to put shoes on, phone rings, DH home in half an hour if we want to wait. Great, half an hour to think about the fact that I’m about to go out in public in my bathers – not a pretty thought!! Get to the pool, boys straight in, suntan lotion DH’s back, he does mine and he gets in. Me? Sitting there smooth talking myself out of my shorts, boys screaming mum! Mum! Muuuuuuummmmmm! Come on mum! Heads turning to find the awful mother neglecting her children. Guilty walk to the pool and into the water – after carefully determining there wasn’t anyone I knew there.

Lovely time in the pool, get out looking like a prune, towel around my waist, turn around to find the skinniest mum of my mothers group arriving with her family, haven’t seen each other for more than 12 months, me with bat-wing arms flapping in the breeze and her in her current fashion bikini!!!!! Life can be cruel. Console self with take-away for dinner!!!!

On a more meaningful note – the boys loved the fact that I had joined the three of them at the pool for the first time in probably 2 years. It was really nice to do something together. I was reminded how much I love the water and the boys were really happy. That my friends, has to outweigh all the other crap 🙂

 

That time of the month…….

You know what I hate? I hate it when it’s that time of the month and you’re around someone’s dog who can’t keep his nose out of your crotch!! What’s with that?! I know I’m a bitch and I might be ‘on heat’, but puuleeeeasssee – I’m not your kind of bitch!! Get. A. Life.

You know what else I hate? I hate it when it’s hot and you don’t wear those little pluggy thingys! The chafing in the heat is unbearable – you know the kind I mean!! You try and do the right thing by your body, steering clear of that toxic shock thing and you get rubbed red raw for it!! You know I’m right.

The other thing I hate is the cost of these little necessities……….all the while knowing if it was men being ‘visited’ on a monthly basis they’d be free!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s with that!?!

 

Say Hello………..

to 2008! What will the new year bring? Have you made any resolutions? I have – don’t make em, won’t break em!! I’m sure to stick to that one 🙂

OMG have I had a heavy head today. For some silly reason I chose to ‘partake’ last night for the 1st time in a long time (kids do that to you!) to finish the silly season and a big year off with a bang *snigger snigger* Had T, her hubby and daughter over for a quiet one and they proceeded to take the piss out of me – how rude. We had fun but I found myself creeping into the new year wanting my sunnies, panadol and something greasy. How quickly we forget……………..or is that just me?!

Fat arsed it………….basically all day. Spoke to Kelley earlier and admitted what a slob I’ve been since starting my blog a few days ago. Suffice it to say, I’ve finally finished the Xmas dishes – I know, I know – disgusting! I’m disgusted. Note to self: must do better cleaning up after a gathering at my house. What? What did you say? Oh – why didn’t DH do it if I cooked all weekend for his family and then again for mine? Good question! Oh that’s right – he’s pinched a nerve in his back.

Does anyone else have this problem???

I remember (back in my day – only kidding!) BC (before children) when the cook in our house didn’t have to do the dishes AND we used to take it in turns to cook! That soon went out the window after the bambinos came along. Where does it say that it becomes the woman’s job to do everything at home when she’s a stay at home mum???? I want to have a serious word with the man person that wrote that rule!!!! Anyone……………..anyone………………..come on – I’ll have ya!!

 

Hello outside world!

Hello……..hello………? Is anyone there? I know you’re out there! Don’t ignore me, they said you’d come!

I know, I know………….Boneblower?!? WTF I hear you ask. Well, as with most things, there is a story behind it.  Back when DH and I were planning our wedding I started playing the Trombone again (unbeknown to my family – but we won’t go there just yet).  The idea was for yours truly to sit down at our wedding and play with the brass ensemble in my wedding dress to let my family everyone know I was playing again.  I can hear you all going ohhhhh, isn’t that nice!

Well DH used to come home from work and ask if I’d practiced my trumpet!! It used to frustrate the crap out of me soooo much that one day I told him he could call it a ‘bone’ as you sometimes do in the industry. Well, that was the end of him. He nearly peed his pants.  He took great delight in asking me if I’d ‘blown the bone’ today!! Rude prick! Then, to top it all off, he got me a t-shirt airbrushed when we were on our honeymoon that says, yep, you guessed it……….Boneblower!

For those of you who don’t know me, I am a bloggin virgin who hopes to learn quickly. Married (DH) with 2 sons (DS1 & DS2) both with Aspergers Syndrome (ASD – Autism Spectrum Disorder) or Aspie as we like to use in my madhouse. I love chocolate and talking on the phone. I am always on the phone! My role in the ASD world dictates the necessity for being on the phone so often oh who am I kidding, it’s my lifeline, my sanity, my social life, my lifeline…………did I already say that?

I look forward to the possibility of spending time with you in the internet arena, ask that you be patient, tell me if you’ve got a gripe and tell everyone else if you think I’m wonderful 🙂