Don’t ya just love…..

The morning started off like your typical morning, trying to get kids to school on time after school holidays…………….running late!!

My little blonde haired, blue eyed cherub (DS2), first day of school decides……today is the day he’s not getting out of bed at the normal crack of dawn.  Nooooo sireeeee.  I could hear him thinking, she’s going to have to work for this one!  I’m going to make her pull her hair out by staying in bed till 8am because it’s my first day of school and she won’t yell at me coz if I get upset, the day is a hell of a lot more likely to be realllllly baaaadd!!  I don’t care if we have to leave the house in 25 minutes, it’s my first day and we’re moving at my pace!!

DS1 is nearly ready even though he’s unwell, coughing and spluttering (only going to school because it’s his little brothers first day – does that make me a bad mum?).  Then I get the muuuuuuuum call.  “There’s a spider in my room!”  Great.  Now I’ve got to spend time trying to ‘find’ (normally no bigger than a bee’s dick) said spider before he’ll leave his room!!  It wasn’t hard.  Right above the door, size of your palm, angry!  I hate spiders…..with a passion……until the end of time.  Hubby away.  Crap!  Only thing to use is outdoor surface spray.  Persuade child through doorway with chocolate (thank god they’re like me!) and turn.that.sucker.white!

Finally leave home (at 8:45am – 10 minutes till 1st bell – 15 minute drive to school – not happy Jan!) and the sky opens up.  Neither child copes with rain (it hurts their heads – don’t know how they stand the shower but not my sensory issue so who am I to quibble!) which means the ‘packhorse’ will be left to carry school bags and 2 boxes (yes, boxes) of books at the other end 😦

Thunder and lightening hits as we enter school.  Not a problem for us…..BUT…….the four legged child at home will force her way through (yes through) the fence and be God knows where by the time I get back.  I know I digress, but feel I need to explain…….Our St Bernard is shit scared of thunder storms, fireworks, blasting from the quarry and basically anything else that goes bang.  If we are home she comes inside so she’s not in it, because she will do anything to get out – and.I.mean.anything!  She moves huge volcanic rocks like they’re pebbles, has forced her way through Rio wire, will dig a well to go under the fence and even used her teeth to break the normal wire last time.  Her last breakout just before Christmas cost us $365 (first time eva in the pound, caught kennel cough, and the council fine has just arrived)!!  Suffice it to say, I was not exactly happy about the prospect of driving the streets to look for her – again!

Where was I??  Oh yeah.  Get the boys into school and finally breathe!!  Three hours sleep.  Didn’t lose my cool.  Everyone alive (till I find the dog) and they seem okay.

Pick-up for my little baby was at 1pm and his smile was priceless.  It was one of those, I’ve been good and I know you’re going to be happy with me kinda smiles.

Pick-up for my big baby was 3:25pm and his smile made my heart soar.  Didn’t get to speak to his teacher this morning, or find out who his aide is for the year, but he had a great day with no problems.  So basically…………

………….it’s a THUMBS UP all round 🙂

PS I found the dog – hubby wants to sell her to highest asian bidder……


I’ve just got to tell you all about one of my besties……………………

I love this woman – she is a real gem.

We met a number of years ago at a conference in Wodonga and one of the first things that interested me about her was her intellect. After hours of discussion over the weekend I could tell she was someone I wanted to stay in touch with. Her willingness to share her knowledge in a completely selfless, non judgemental and down to earth manner was totally refreshing.

As the months went on our friendship developed at a fairly fast pace, quickly getting to the place it’s at now. She is someone I admire and have a lot of time for. She is intelligent, selfless, humorous, beautiful, quick thinking and totally devoted to her children. She knows how to really have fun even though the constraints of her family rarely allow her the luxury of letting her hair down. She is a wonderful mother, brilliant at planning and executing the best parties, and always there for advice, concern and support. She has never, and I mean never, let me down.

Who is this fabulous woman full of patience, honesty, strength, quick wit and coffee??

Most of you know her as Magneto Bold Too – but to me she’s Kelley.

‘The Almighty Mummy’  is a title she definitely deserves and I am honoured to be her friend.

Love ya babe xox

Howdy gang. I’ve been so damn busy the last few days – even out at night time!!!!! Then when I finally get the chance to come back to all you wonderful people, I notice I haven’t posted since Saturday!! Where on earth does the time go?????

So I’m sitting here in hog heaven!!! Let’s see if you can guess why…………. House is quiet, I mean really, really quiet. Going to be this way for a number of days. I can watch what I want on tellie. Eat whenever & whatever I want. No schedule to stick to. No screaming. No fighting. No electronic ‘noise’ coming from various games throughout the house – unless I’m the one making it. No four legged friend to worry about. No time restraints. No fighting for the loo. No bitching about what’s being served for dinner. No hassles. Yep, you guessed it – Home. Alone. For. Six. Glorious. Days. 🙂


I would be!!!!!!

After they left I went and had a sleep – guilt free!!!!

What? I didn’t hear you properly? It sounded like you told me to shut up!?! Oh, you did? Sorry – not! LOL

No, really, I wish you could all come and enjoy this with me – God knows, some of you really need it!!! I will endeavor to bask in the luxury of it for you all……………..& I’ll be back later 🙂

41° day, wife preserver (DH’s term for the air-conditioner) working a treat – after cleaning the filters for the first time since installation in 2003! Apparently they need their filters cleaned every 6-12 months to work properly – who would’ve guessed??!! Anyway, as I said – wife preserver working a treat, kids happy, house cool, on the couch watching tellie, power goes out……………yep, you heard me – power goes out. WTF!! Check the fuse box – everything fine there, sweaty palms, deep breath, change the phone over to OMG an old push button phone and call the electricity company. Recording – trees over power lines in our area – expected restoration time 5pm. What! Hysteria sets in. 5pm! It’s. Only. 3:20. How the hell are we going to survive without the wife preserver?!?!?!?! I know, I’ll put the fan on – duurrrrrrrrr – NO ELECTRICITY!!! Everything in our house is electric – water, stove, everything! Shit!!!!

Call DH in hysterics nearly hyperventilating to tell him the situation at home coz he’s god and he can fix this!!!! And you know what he suggests? Go to the pool!!! What’s with that? Go. To. The. Pool. Heeelllllllloooooooooo – major bush city happening downstairs!! Bathers – I don’t think so!! Then he asks what other choice do I have and after frantically running through my options (all my nearby friends are out!!!!) I numbly realise he’s right.

In the bathroom, shower running (no hot water coz there’s no electricity), trying to convince myself I can get in there – I’m strong, I’ve had babies for gods sake!!! OMG – major nipple erectus happening, quick soap up, quick shave (boy am I going to suffer for that one) and out. Dry off, bathers on, nooooooooooooooo! Wouldn’t you know it – didn’t clean up enough!!!! Shit. Shit. Shit. Moisturiser, more shaving (god am I going to suffer for that!). Thoughts of numerous discussions over Brazilians etc enter my mind – oh shut up! Too late now!

Bag packed, boys ready, time to put shoes on, phone rings, DH home in half an hour if we want to wait. Great, half an hour to think about the fact that I’m about to go out in public in my bathers – not a pretty thought!! Get to the pool, boys straight in, suntan lotion DH’s back, he does mine and he gets in. Me? Sitting there smooth talking myself out of my shorts, boys screaming mum! Mum! Muuuuuuummmmmm! Come on mum! Heads turning to find the awful mother neglecting her children. Guilty walk to the pool and into the water – after carefully determining there wasn’t anyone I knew there.

Lovely time in the pool, get out looking like a prune, towel around my waist, turn around to find the skinniest mum of my mothers group arriving with her family, haven’t seen each other for more than 12 months, me with bat-wing arms flapping in the breeze and her in her current fashion bikini!!!!! Life can be cruel. Console self with take-away for dinner!!!!

On a more meaningful note – the boys loved the fact that I had joined the three of them at the pool for the first time in probably 2 years. It was really nice to do something together. I was reminded how much I love the water and the boys were really happy. That my friends, has to outweigh all the other crap 🙂

Butt, butt, butt, butt, butt!!!! Don’t ya just love a good butt 🙂 To quote Donkey, “I like big butt……..”, well – mine anyway! But it doesn’t really matter what shape or size – we’ve all got one! So how then do we take care of it and the rest of our glorious bods?!?

I don’t know about you but I am constantly and I mean constantly reminded how unfit and overweight I am. If it’s not my 8 year old (he keeps suggesting I go on Biggest Loser), it’s my family or the media (all sorts) or the diet companies or the fitness centres or the medical profession or the clothing industry or the models or the eating disorder units (obese is classed as an eating disorder and apparently I do fit in that category – yeah I know, the photo………….that was taken 13 years ago and holds very little resemblance to the person I have become) or the dentist (bad food rots your teeth) or the friends that are getting in shape and have started calling me Norm (anyone else old enough to remember that one)!!!!!! Well, I have something to say to the lot of you! Are you listening? I mean really listening?

I have finally found out what I’ve been doing wrong all these years and feel it is my duty to inform all people in my situation of this horrid mistake we’ve all been making………………………………….. 


Now don’t you wish you knew that years ago?!?! We need to get the message out there people. How on earth are we to make a stand against ‘the weight loss industry’ if we don’t have the facts!

Well – now you do. Go forth, spread the word, share this post. The more people we reach – the less people they can try to manipulate! God speed……

Don’t ya just love the word BUT. Dr Phil reckons the word but says, ‘I just told you what you want to hear but now I’m going to tell you what I really think’! How true is that. For example:

I’m loving doing this blog but only 1 person is commenting! (Why the hell aren’t they communicating with me.)
I love you but you’re really pissing me off at the moment. (You’re really pissing me off at the moment.)
I think you’re doing the right thing but maybe you could go about it in a different way. (What are you, stupid!)
You look great in that outfit but I like you in the other one better. (You’re not going out in that are you!)

And then there’s the conversational but. “Why on earth are you wearing those undies?!” “Coz they’re all I’ve got.” “They need to go in the bin.” “Yeah I know, I need new ones but we can’t really afford them at the moment.” That’s when you know you’ve been hit by the manipulation but!! And if you’re anything like me you don’t like to be told ‘we can’t afford it’! Sure, it may be true but I’m up for the challenge (translation – don’t tell me what to do)! New undies *mutter mutter* I’ll give you new undies *mutter mutter*……………………..

Don’t ya just love family! I finally got the ‘fall out’ from Christmas day. Picture this: nice peaceful day, first time in about 20 years since I’ve had Mutti (my mum) and Nanna (her mum) to myself on Christmas day without all the Riff-Raff (stepfathers lot), table decorations top class (wanted to spoil them) and a meal of family traditional recipes planned! Do you think that passed muster? Nup. I made Nanna’s pumpkin chiffon pie and sago plum pudding for dessert which neither she nor Mutti had eaten/prepared for years!!! Apparently I need a lesson in how to make pastry! I know how to make bloody pastry! I ran out of time that morning so used the frozen stuff (only ever as a back up – I promise) so the pie was ready in time! Last time I try to please the ungrateful wretch with her own recipes!!